I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize