i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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