Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
