I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize