we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
