Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
