it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
