I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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