no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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