He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Bring me that man meat
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
