I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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