Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
