3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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