I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
