let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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