Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
