Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you tipped EVERY employee at white castle

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(219): View more from Indiana

surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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(248): View more from Michigan

i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i drank out of a bidet.

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(214): View more from Texas

um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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(518): View more from New York

Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday

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