the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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