and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize