dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
