4 words: hood of his car
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
