so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
