Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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