if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
