Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
