By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
zippers are such a cool invention
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
