And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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