hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
