He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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