your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize