Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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