You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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