i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
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