Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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