you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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