I just cut my nipple shaving
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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