your thong is hanging out like whoa
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
