hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize