Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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