Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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