I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
you will always have a special place in my vag
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
