the new term for farting is butt boxing.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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