U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
being pregnant is like rehab
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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