Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
