just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
