so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
