sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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