brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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