I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
