coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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