Dual....:-)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
