lets start a swedish sibling band together
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
