My room smells like vodka and shame
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
