DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
