How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Never underestimate the power of titties
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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