I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
