so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
