he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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