some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
