Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
