its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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