You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize