He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
porn star boner night. come get it.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
